THE FAULT OF BEING A WOMAN

“It’s not what we wear, it’s how you stare. It’s not morality, it’s your pathetic mentality”

I gave this thought a thought and happened to reflect on a very tiny and senseless argument I had with my sweetheart a few days back. Since the weather in Mumbai is as good as a hot spell, I personally prefer wearing clothes that are not too clingy. I don’t know why, but I thought of seeking permission from my sweetheart regarding the shorts that I wished to wear that evening. And his instant reply was, “NO”. His denial offended me, I threw a very pugnacious conversation at him. Eventually I ended up wearing my denims along with a casual t-shirt. While on the signal I noticed a pair of lewd eyes staring at me, I felt uncomfortable for a few seconds till we were signaled green. Within a few minutes while we parked our bike, I spotted another bunch of men gawking at a group of young girls passing by.I could now fathom out the reasons of my darling’s concern regarding my clothing. Yes, he wanted me to be safe, he couldn’t have other men staring at me with lust. He was absolutely justified for the denial he put forth earlier.

I wasn’t wearing anything that was provoking, nor were those girls dressed inappropriately. This is something we face everyday and have now become accustomed to it. So conditioned that the moment someone teases us,  we walk past quickly, with the fear of becoming their object of pleasure. No women dares to argue with these inglorious bastards, those who tried to, faced ill fate. This reminds me of a very recent rape survivor who finally gave up “Sister Aruna Shanbaug”. Her only fault was that she hurt a male ego unknowingly. As always justice was far away from reality, instead she had to suffer for 42 years of her life.

Whose fault was it? Maybe her clothes, afterall nurses dress provocatively…. Or wait, it could be her words, she had the audacity to argue with a MAN. But definitely not the rapist’s fault, he was helpless, he had to engage himself in the act because she provoked him.

The fault was that she was a WOMAN.

We are all well aware about the case of NIRBHAYA. She was dressed in an Indian attire, what was her fault? She didn’t even argue, she didn’t hurt any ego, instead pleaded to let her go. But they were brutal. Again, the  fault was that she was a WOMAN. This was soon followed by the rape of a young photographer in Mumbai. Whose fault was it once again? Her fault. She is a WOMAN , that’s her biggest fault. It could be her clothes, her words, her gestures anything, because SHE provoked HIM.

If that’s the case then what was a five year old’s fault. What did she do to provoke him? Played with her toys, trusted him, because children always see the good in everyone. Was that her fault?

A girl is always questioned about her whereabouts? But a boy is never asked the same question. Women have been objectified for years, it’s time the society stopped that now. We have our own dignity and the need for respect. A woman’s clothes, behavior, mannerisms, gestures, words, are not the causes for rape but are all excuses used by men to rape.

 Instead of asking women to change their clothes and lifestyle why don’t you ask the men to change their mentality. Let’s give this a shot because it doesn’t seem to work the other way round.

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THE FUR OF HAPPINESS

Five years back on a very casual evening when everything was on schedule,  I got a call from my student asking me to cancel her guitar session for the day since she had got a new puppy and all her friends had come over to meet the new-born member of their family. This news that was shared with me,  got a smile on my face it sounded cute, but for some odd reason made me feel extremely excited from within. Since I was free that evening I spent a little extra time with my sweetheart (this seemed to explain me the feelings I experienced a few hours  ago), thanks to the little pup.

The following evening when I entered her house, I was welcomed by the tiny ball of fur.  He was so adorable, I couldn’t stop smiling at him. His eyes caught my attention, they seemed to be smiling back at me. Something convinced me that he wasn’t a stranger. We made ourselves comfortable on the lovely terrace under the spotlight of the moon with stars looking down at us awaiting to hear our melodies. The strings of our guitars played a few rhythms and with every note of music, came forward Rex (the tiny Lab pup). I seemed to be casting a spell on him with the music I played. Within no time he rested his tiny self on my lap and shut his eyes as if relaxing on an oasis of serenity.

 Late that night I got a call from my student, she sounded hysterical. She was in need of a vet, because our little Rex was unable to breathe and had become very weak. I couldn’t do much to help them out, I felt sorry for the pup.And the very next thing I know is, the family planning to give that puppy away since they believed they couldn’t take care of it. I spoke about it to my aunt and her minimal nod was something that I held onto firmly and got little REX home. My family questioned me if we would be able to do justice to the dog, but I guess I was too stubborn to give up. I first convinced my cousin sister and her support was more than enough to take care of Rex.

 Since then there was no looking back, Rex was everybody’s favourite. Each and everyone in my family treated him like a baby and yes that is what he is, even now, for all of us. We soon became open to the world of dogs and, Oh, what a feeling it is! The most adorable animal: a friend to all, a protector, a guardian. I realized he was so much better than other human beings I had known and trusted. He helped me unravel the true meaning of the terms, loyal and faithful.

He has marked our lives with a streak of sublime experiences. The moment we enter  the house his warm, slurpy welcome is enough to relieve us of the stress and worries that we have had throughout the day. He wags his tail out of excitement as if telling us,  “Where were you? I have been waiting for you all day long.”, ” Do you know how much I missed you? Now come on drop your bags and play with me, you are my only friend.”

At times he even looks away out of anger. He is happy when we are happy, upset when we are sad. He expresses so many emotions, sometimes overwhelming and confusing. It’s not just Rex but it’s every dog that you come across. They are a dose of happiness in our traumatic, chaotic and unpredictable life.

But the so-called ‘civilized species’ created by God are at times so destructive. My heart cries when I hear of dog abuses, dogs giving up due to starvation and stray dogs being run over. This makes me wonder if these people have a heart. The latest thing I hear is dogs being boiled alive for human survival. How are human beings going to be happy if they kill this little fur of happiness? If they are the reason for our happiness don’t they deserve happiness too. It’s a call for humanity this time. Are we human enough?

Rex came to me as an angel sent from above, I never thought of having a pet but now I realize that even they need a home, some love and affection just like human beings. We are greedy for that love and so are they. Rex spreads happiness in every corner of our house and every corner of our hearts. I can never imagine my life without him. I am thankful to God for gifting us Rex, he has made our lives worth living. He is the reason for our happiness and since happiness is the key to life I am glad I have found my key. What About You?

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Worldview

       I am a little lost in this new world that I have come across. As a child i remember the world being so different building forts, climbing trees, family gatherings, my view of this world was quite different. The world seemed to be a perfect place. For me my world was my family.

       As I grew a little older I stepped out to an extended world, I met different people with different perspectives, varied lifestyles, unique personalities. More than my family it was this world that started having an influence on me, my thoughts and my way of life. Wait what was happening to me??? Was it just me? was I the only victim of this ramification?. To my surprise all my questions were answered by the curves that life threw onto me from time to time, and the answers were scary. I was not alone, everyone I knew was under this influence, my family, friends, acquaintances and all of you.

       I guess life is such, its fun at times, boring too, frightening and also annoying. So much to learn from everyone and everywhere. Yes, I am a little lost once again because I have decided to be a part of this clique whether out of influence or choice I am not aware, but it’s new and exciting and I am taking it up as a blogger, not to influence but to share and learn with an amazing bunch of enthusiasts.